Four o' clock in the afternoon, and September is off to a cold, grey, and peaceful start. Last night, I considered having a pretty active day today. Get things done and all that, get all the unpleasant things out of the way and get back to normal as fast as possible. But I decided against it, feeling that the only thing I would actively be doing is actively willing to get September off to a bad start. I'm not saying I expect something to go wrong the second I pick up a paint brush, but it's Saturday, damn it. Today, I said this morning, would be a quiet day, and depending how I feel later, tomorrow may be as well. Besides, I swear white spirit makes me high. So I got up very late, had coffee in bed while I finished volume one of Pamela, pottered around a little, and then went with Big C to a farm just up the road so I could play with my camera (pictures here) and he could test his new TomTom. We came back, I made us a late lunch (not one of my finest, but there's no food in the house), and now I'm sitting in the study listening to the wind, the TV downstairs, and G in the aviary (the budgies are roosting). All I want from today is quiet. I plan on relaxing in the bath later, and reading some more of Pamela and starting Robinson Crusoe (don't forget!). Depending on the light, I might go out later at sunset (19:57) and take a few more pictures.As for September goals... I'm a little superstitious now about posting goals and making plans, because 2012 does not seem to be the year for them ("The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men / Gang aft agley / An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain / For promis'd joy!"- Robert Burns, To A Mouse). At the same time, it's hard not to think ahead, at least until equinox. These are the last few weeks of summer, the season is already beginning to change, and anyway, I can't not think beyond equinox because in autumn we prepare for the winter. We need to start thinking about where the logs are going to come from, for a start, and it is best to think about doing a little hoarding in case of snow. And Christmas.... I always think ahead, I like to look forward and march on, and it's not like 2012 has all been in vain. So I will look forward. I love September (actually, I love all the months in their own way).
I have no specific book plans, other than I plan to read a lot. I'd like to read a lot, and I would like to read a lot of my 2012 Challenges. I started Pamela last night, and I'm amazed at what a quick read it is (I was thinking something along the lines of Clarissa, where it took days and days just to get to the first 100 pages). Naturally, I'd like to follow Pamela with Shamela and Joseph Andrews, and as I say make a start with Robinson Crusoe. I have my eye on The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton, and I never did get my Dumas weekend, so I'm looking at The Three Muskateers as well. I really ought to finish the Katherine Mansfield short stories (an absolute chore), and I feel I may finally be ready for St. Augustine. I barely read a word of Dickens in August, so I am very keen on starting either Little Dorrit or Barnaby Rudge (Martin Chuzzlewit can wait until October, when I think I'll be reading it along with Charlotte if all goes to, ahem, plan). I have so much I want to read....
And yes, finish decorating, finally. Finish in the next three weeks. But read, I want to read, and write my blog, and play with the budgies, go to gigs with Big C, go on walks, catch up with paperwork.... I want to get back to normal so much. This weekend needs to be a relaxing one, or at least not deliberately inviting difficulty. And the rest of the month, yes, make a big dint in my challenges, but to enjoy hopping around as well, reading St Augustine, reading Freud perhaps, and Moll Flanders followed by Plato, or who knows what. I'm enthusiastic about nearly all the titles now.
And one thing I have learnt this year is how to find peace in chaos. Perhaps not perfectly, but even with a lot of very important things still unresolved (one of the most important things has been hanging in the air since mid-March and causing quite a problem now), there are still ways and means of relaxing in the eye of a storm. It's a good skill, and I'm mastering it.
When I began reading your blog all those months ago (yes, I actually do keep checking your blog for new posts at least three times a day... still), I wondered - why do the British always plan out their time? After all, one can plan one's life away. Make it nothing exciting but a map one needs to cross. And now, upon starting my blog and having planned out August myself, I'm amazed at how slow and eventful my time has been. I feel like I haven't been wasting my time. I haven't planned August away. The beginning of August seems like ages ago!
ReplyDeleteI know you'd advise me otherwise, but if I was offered to have your life and be you for just a day, I wouldn't hesitate. I don't know, I just wouldn't. I thought it was right to tell you that!
Thank you, martina <3 And actually, I wouldn't tell you otherwise. This might sound a bit "woe is me", but I've not had the easiest life. I've been pretty much on the brink of financial devastation (that's a bit over the top!) as long as I can remember, and it's served me well in some ways. I don't expect all the expensive stuff, holidays and all that, and my favourite things to do are cheap, which is good. Just at the minute, we're a little too close for comfort to the abyss, but it will pass, I've seen it pass before. And I've had a few other issues in my time (I kind of touched on it in that "Favourite book" post, seeing a pschiatrist for 12 years and all, and now that's over, I'm kind of trained up for the bad things in life. I'd rather have been skint all my life than rich and then skint, that would suck. And I'm in a way glad my twenties were so screwed up, because at least now I get a clearer picture of how life really is. It sounds such a cliché, but it is true that it is good to have bad times some times. So I do like my life very much, and Big C and I are so close (so, again, thank God for the previous rubbish boyfriends!) and that holds everything together.
ReplyDeletePlus, hell, I live in a forest! :D
This was lovely and then the comments made it even more lovely! And living in the forest sounds like an enchanted fairy tale.
ReplyDeleteLovely post! I've been feeling more like reading recently, so this is what I needed to see! A post pondering choices...and some great ones! I'm all for pushing you to read The House of Mirth (FAVORITE), but the others are also good. I have Pamela on my shelf, as well as Shamela.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope you like Robinson Crusoe. I was surprised by how much I liked it when I read it a couple years ago!
I agree with Allie - I was surprised by Robinson Crusoe and really enjoyed it. I'm not a Richardson fan like you are, but reading Pamela was worth it to better understand Shamela and Joseph Andrews, which I adored. The writing isn't quite polished, especially in Shamela, but his humor is both entertaining and though-provoking. I really need to get around to reading Tom Jones someday.
ReplyDelete