May.

I love May, even the word "May" sounds so lovely, gentle, and full of potential. I was interested to read that "May" comes from the Roman goddess of fertility, Maia: when I was thinking about potential, I was simply thinking of it's homonym, as in, "yes, you may".

Oddly enough (or perhaps not), I'm writing this in April - it's just after eight o' clock, but I know posting in the morning will be tricky as it will be an early start, and I won't be back til at least midnight, and I would hate to miss out on having my first day of the month post on the first day, so I'm writing it now and I'll post it tomorrow (I've never done that before, so we'll see how it goes!).

And, it's been beautiful here for the past two days, during the day at least. The past few nights there has been very heavy rain, but I do like going to sleep listening to the rain (edit: I've just read April was the wettest month in 100 years). This morning, I sat outside briefly while Trot was in the aviary, however I quickly went back inside after spotting a dead baby bird. I should be more used to it than I am, living in the forest. But I'm not, and, well, April is the cruelest month. I hope that May is softer, and warmer too. The leaves are beginning to come through, and the moors are beautiful right now - they almost look like velveteen with their patchy, neutral brown and grey hues. I'm looking forward to seeing the heather. I also hope than some things are resolved this month, things that have been on both mine and Big C's mind since the end of January, still very much out of our control right now. Let's hope in May, justice will prevail. I think, though, one thing I've learned this year is that we can't always have a smooth ride. Other things, again out of our control, seem to be simmering beneath the surface. Selfishly, I just want them to go away and not think about them. Realistically, though, I'm speculating and there's no need for it. Something may "seem" to be doing something, but it may not be doing anything of the sort. 

I really do begin this month with hope and optimism, as I do every month, and will find the happiness, excitement, peace, joy, and all that's good wherever I can. That alone should be enough, I hope. 

Before I think of May goals, let me look back at April. Even if I do say so myself, I read a staggering amount. I read thirty one books, the most, I believe, that I have ever read in a single month. You can see what I read here, and I'd say it was largely down to Dewey's Read-a-Thon - firstly because of the obvious - I spent a full twenty-four hours reading, and secondly, it reminded me just how much I love reading and how much it means to me. I am, sometimes, guilty of treating it like a sport, but that said - does it matter, if I enjoy it? If at the very least, I enjoy the accomplishment of finishing a book I have deemed important enough to suffer, isn't that enough? Besides, on the whole, I love most of the books I read.

I said in order for me to stay on track with my 2012 challenges, I needed to hit book 25, which I did (I actually read my twenty-ninth challenge book, so I'm ahead now). I listed a few books I was thinking about, and from that list I read Emma, Our Mutual Friend, White Teeth, Howards End, Germinal, Odyssey, and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I also finished The New Testament, as planned, and joined in with Dewey's Read-a-Thon and Trotwood's favourite aunty's The Name of the Rose read-along. I also read Enchanted April, Watership Down, and The Shadow of the Wind, as planned. So, all in all, it was a success!

As for May. Well, honestly, I think I need to focus on some challenges, namely Ted Hughes and the Penguin's Greatest. The latter hasn't exactly grabbed me, but it was a noble endeavour, so I want to pick it up. There are, on average, about 100 pages in each of these books, so for me to want to read at least ten of them isn't so unrealistic. It would be wonderful if I got the the twentieth book, but that would involve reading fourteen, about one every other day. Whilst that too is "do-able", I don't know that I actually want to! So, I'll aim to read ten, and get to the fourteenth book. And Ted Hughes - I did say I wanted to finish it by summer, so I would need to read twenty-one collections, which is again about ten in a month. These two challenges together are a little daunting, therefore I'll say "It would be great if I did" rather than "I will do this". But I would really like to, because, as with the Dickens, these challenges have been going since December. I'm already thinking of other books I want to explore, perhaps when I've finished reading Ted Hughes I might work on The Canterbury Tales or even work through my Oxford Anthology. I also keep thinking about other authors for when I've finished reading Dickens, like Thomas Hardy, or Dostoevsky. That said, I have no plans on reading all the remaining Dickens novels this month! One will suffice, and it will be Dombey and Son as I have already started it. One Dickens a month is perfect, but that does mean it will last until October. Finally, The Bible challenge, I'll aim for Psalms and Proverbs, and perhaps Ecclesiastes. I'm reading along with my friend, and am in no rush to finish (though I keep thinking once I do, I can start on the Qur'an!).

The final part of this, reviewing the challenges I mean, is the overall 2012 list, of which I only need to read three or four this month to stay on track. Honestly, I have no real plans. Villette seems to keep popping up everywhere, most likely because I'm so aware that I still haven't read it. I have already started Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson, so obviously I want to finish that. And, as I say, I have Dostoevsky on my mind. My mother bought me The Brothers Karamazov recently, so I think that would be the one! As for another, well, I'm leaving it open. I'm giving myself quite a lot to read this month! I do like this, though, this method is inspiring and I feel very accomplished when I've given myself a hard month and I've met my goals at the end of it. All I will say is I don't specifically intend to read Villette or Brothers, these are just what is on my mind right now. However, I do intend to read ten of the Penguin Greats, ten of the Ted Hughes, Psalms and Proverbs, and Dombey and Son!

And now, well, it's half nine and still April. But when this goes out, it will be May and I'm excited for May. I have faith in May.